Today is the day when i am feeling empty. On the other hand i am happy too that my daughter is a big girl now and she does not need me to sleep in the night. She is altogether a papa’s girl now. After almost one and half year, i have got this chance to burn mid night oil and how can i miss that chance to devote this time to my second love ” writing”.
It is not my story, it is a story of every women working or house-maker rather. She keeps moving in life with different challenges, searching solutions for each one of them and vanishing their traces. But in between where does she loose her self, even she does not know. Meanwhile things keep moving on and she needs to search a definition for herself every time.
I battled such depressing situation in past few days, where i was not standing with a choice and behaved like a coward ordinary lady, who is perturbed of every thing, who is insecure about her future, one who needs support physically and emotionally and finally who was stepping forward towards suicide of her inert. Whenever i was lumbered with such situations, only motherhood feeling pushed me out of this darken shady side of life and gave me the strength to confront this world and with myself sometimes.
Teachings always matter but why is she been interrogated from “how to behave (which is been given her in terms of how to respect), what to wear ( as per their perspective, it might be most vulgar one for us), where to go and what to eat!!!!hsssssssssssss!!! And preaching does not stop here, from her personal to social life, they try to interfere every where. A question mark is been kept in front of her parenting system indeed. While no one is bothered in listening her answers, why these questions every time?
It’s not about pointing out men always, most of the time it is one among us, who tries to through dirt on our dignity. Very recently i was also suffering from a lady only who came to my house and started to educate me on house cleaning. She started to move things here and there to prove me inefficient. And when i saw her home i was not even thinking to through my dog’s shit there. Regardless she tried to limit my freedom on social media also trying every unethical way..huh!!!! All her endless malicious efforts to pull me back in the darkness, were going useless with my patience. Now she is frustrated because i don’t give her the grass. And my patience and ignorance is now been called misbehavior and arrogance.
It takes two to tango so i warn, if you want respect, give me the respect. I may be wrong sometimes, but not every time. If i am a good listener, i might turn out to a good speaker also. If you are the best as per you, i also have same perception about me. If feeling confident, beautiful and responsible is my arrogance, then yes i am so and let it be with me. If you are trying to preach me, first correct yourself. If you are trying to put a question mark on my identity, than many times i have changed the roles, and fulfilled their requirement as a daughter, wife, mother and a working women. Even if you can’t understand my definition, than leave it. It is not your cup of tea. No dictionary has defined my words, which i have live up to the mark.