Searching meanings for settled life!!

I was standing in kitchen and serving lunch. My eyes were stuck up with some curtainless windows. All glassy as if they were pouring openness to their owner’s life. I realized that some lives are very easy to access. they fall in every one’s coverage area.Alas!!

With those thoughts mind started to roam with so many thoughts. Relations, people, failure and success and i was debating myself in various streams. I started to think one girl’s life when it transforms in various forms called rlations. What looks like a story, has taken someone’s whole life along and out of it, some takes entertainment, some lessons, some preachings and so on!!!

My grandfather and one of his niece, their story was one of a kind. He was a freedom fighter and kept struggling in every walks of life. One thing i always admired was his outwardness and helping nature without any selfishness. He did not know meaning for ‘What would i get out of that”!! It might be for farmers, family members or for some unknown, his wide heart had furled every one’s grievous mat.

This time it was his brother, grappling up for his daughter’s marriage. Dadaji took responsibility and got her married to a well educated forest ranger. Girl whom i call bua, was living her married life happily with all amusement, big home, servants, car and everything. That used to be a dream life for every girl those days. Where was dadaji in between??? If bua was happy that was all grace of god and if she was stuck up with some problems then always dadaji was a culprit..Every bad thing was blamed because of him.

While bua completed 3-4 years of marriage, she came to know about her infertility. Her tubes were blocked and ovary was polycystic. those time technology and medicines were not that flourished and developed. She was struggling with her husband and after consulting so many doctors they thrown down all weapons for a baby. After some time she came to know about her husband’s extra marital affair and a boy child from them. Because that baby’s mother was no more and it was her husband’s baby, she accepted him with wide open arms. Every one can imagine the kind of emotional life she would have lived with her husband. Bua’s mom every day used to come our home, abused dadaji !! and I tried to make out again “where does he come along”?

Time was passing and that child was growing. every one started to call him pintu. He came with bua and every one accepted him like real one!! Infact more than that, because he was the reason bua was still living with her husband. Otherwise his husband was in a mood of divorce. The last thing i observed in my uncle’s drawing room, a big photograph of pintu, wearing police dress, and his mamas were talking, he will be SP one day. He looks like infact. Now not only bua, whole family was intensely attached with pintu, as if everyone forgot who was he. I left that place in class 8rth and after that was not in touch with any one, neither bua nor pintu.

This time i was married when i heard bua’s husband is no more. I was deep into pain. felt sorrow, was thinking about her life, what did she get?? Although she took care of pinto very well and now he is married. his mama and nani brought a qulaified girl for him and now he has a son too.. Recently i visited the place and found pintu in front of me (coincidence that he also came there). I found that face very familier and i spoke loud; PINTU?? I was very happy to see bua was carrying a small baby in her lap. Whole day she used to take care of newborn, she is dadi now after all. When i found time, i went to her, she was siting in golden sunlight, taking baby in her lap. I was sitting beside her, she said, see who has come..BUA!! it’s been so long we met, i heard everything bua, felt bad, she wanted to narrate her story and again some tear drops and silence overlapped everything.

She was very happy too because PINTU was appointed at his father’s place. He is in government job, married to an educated and beautiful girl and have their own baby too. it seemed as she was bonused for her bad time..and pintu’s mama’s dream come true.

Bua was very innocent. people kept commenting her and she reverted back with sient smile and some tears in eyes. Those days i used to see her crying and today she is crying?? Where was happiness lying?? Time changes, but it seems that sometimes it does not want to toss. Does it take so long to flip or moros heart count every second a year?? I was left with so many questions..

We wish for a settled life, But who knows the meanings?? I ask a question now. When was she settled? When she was living with her husband with a feeling of guilt, she could not conceive and her husband was ignoring her for this reason, standing at a stage of divorce? OR today  when her husband is no more, At Least someone was there for her name, for whatever good or bad reason.. Now she is living with her son. Whole day keeping a baby in her lap and thanking god for giving a baby in her lap to satisfy a maternal soul!!!

Still thinking!!



About Deepti

I am Deepti from Delhi, India. A Craft person, a blogger (Writer), Painter, a baby's dress designer, a daughter, elder sister of two, a wife and above all "Mother to a cute little Princess".
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