I was trying to stop my high speed brain, which was not taking rest for even a minute. I found that in an hour, i did all the hobby works, what i was aspiring to do. Some mehndi designs were roaming in my mind or i was painting something new, took some stitching projects for living room, made so many dresses for my daughter, which were never launched in market, with so specific designs, and this time for my husband too 😉 😉 or i was cooking something. I was taking moments of joy from my life and stuffing my heart with proud.
With so many thing and so much to do, i start my day like a rail, take break in night, when everyone is slept. I take a deep breath of satisfaction “i did well today as mother”.I thank and give so many applauds for my creative soul, which keeps me alive, because of that i was called happening. Office routine is still flowing in my blood stream, where i had to submit my end of the day summary and project report, with lots of question marks, But every time i was answerable.
This was the time when i was on high, but some days come with dissatisfaction and lethargic feeling. Days are spent with cursing my sins. When everything is right and you still smell a rat, something is going on which is not good. I start to think why do i keep myself so busy that i leave myself behind. I start to follow my brain and I start to loose my heart. I find myself in infinite silence where i cry but it is not seen nor it echoes. I am left with zero interest in anything. Friends say, this is mood swing. Doctor gives it a name hormonal change. For few i am “unpredicted personality”. When i asked myself about this, because i am answerable, it replied this is “Today’s me“