Just made my mind to reply on Quora and found this question. I was stopped by and started thinking !!
Obviously, when it comes to parenting, everything seems right in the name of, whatever we are doing is in good interest of our kids, forgetting the fact that whatever experiments we are doing on them, may it be on living life, clothing, studies or so on, sometimes becomes so late to balance the repercussions. Yes, these are experiments because no one can take guarantee of its result lifetime.
I think, every habit or behaviour related to your kids, is been regulated, with a key called “Approach”. Willingly or unwillingly, we transfer our though process, what reaches them as learnt behaviour, and becomes their personality one day.
As a middle class family from rural India, while my parents were only educated people in whole community, they wanted us to make an escape from that orthodox world. We were bounded to do some great in studies, as were not having any option, that was obligation, realising the only way to get rid of that life style and people with narrow thinking, which could not be explained.
We three siblings, when were in school, given a scoring target in final exam, and were rewarded with whatever gift we wanted. School was over and somehow those gifts were no more attracting us, so we started dreaming about our life. For me, if I would go to some metro city and be self dependent, I would find a society of my dreams, where every thing starts and ends with a positive note. For my sister, her only passion of life was dresses, and for my youngest brother, life was roaming around cakes and travelling. In short, we would get a magical stick, and moving that we shall get, what we expect. Since then we started working hard to achieve the peak of our careers.
When I try to look back, people are still on same chapters, whatever society is it !! We kept moving and achieved every goal, all set targets. And when we looked forward expecting that magical part to be done, nothing changed !! We found the society even worse, as we are moving forward towards so called high class. Concerns are changing, but there is no day, which is called perfect, because if one problem is solved, other worries pop up !!
It might be easy for me to say all this, because who kept suffering but protected us from all devilish things, were our parents !! They gave us a protective shade, where nothing bad could impact us !! I regard them, for what ever they taught us, so as to approach happy life. And what I mentioned above “that magical part”, they are no where wrong, because they also didn’t see that world, what we were dreaming about !!
But when I am a mother, I would never tell my girl something like “magic”. Nothing changes, other than you !! If you want to grow happy, it will not come our way, you will have to hunt that happiness, living in same society, marking it should not take shape of sacrifices. Else we need to make our own world, where only person is you !!